Choosing a gift for a stepchild is always difficult. You![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.carouselandrockinghorses.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/birthday-boy-247x300.jpg\" "\\"birthday-boy\\"")
don\u2019t want to appear to want to \u2018buy\u2019 their affection, but you don\u2019t want to hold back in case you look like you\u2019re penny-pinching (or, worse, that you don\u2019t like them.) Christmas and birthdays are a nightmare for any parent, let alone a step-parent, so this handy guide will make sure that whatever the occasion, any gift you come bearing will be gratefully (and graciously) received.<\/p>\n
Make sure you don\u2019t overstep the mark. Yes, they might have dropped the occasional hint about owning an entire box set of something semi-suitable, or heading to Vegas for a no-expenses-spared weekend, but it\u2019s not your job to spoil them. If they choose to confide in you that they\u2019re after an expensive gift, such as a laptop, you\u2019re better off telling your partner, who can then discuss it with them. Resist the urge to play \u2018Good Cop\u2019 and splash the cash – they won\u2019t respect you for it in the long run, and you\u2019ll be expected to always produce lavish gifts.<\/p>\n
A good gift is always something that they\u2019ll use every day, as opposed to something frivolous that\u2019ll be loved fiercely for the day and then sit on their bedroom floor forevermore. If you\u2019re buying for girls, we recommend sports and school-friendly items such as Gola bags<\/a>, clothes that they\u2019ll be able to wear every day (coats\/scarves\/hats), vouchers for their favourite shops or restaurants, a DVD they\u2019ve had their eye on or a sports massage\/facial session. Avoid designer labels, anything that you know will attract the attention of thieves or anything that you know will stir up trouble amongst other siblings.<\/p>\n Talking of other siblings, even if you do have a favourite, make sure you buy for all your stepchildren equally. If you single one out, you\u2019re inadvertently punishing them as the others will start resenting them for receiving nicer gifts. The same goes for any difficult stepchildren – resist the temptation to scrimp on their presents. Children are much cleverer than we give them credit for, and will play up even more if they see a legitimate reason to push your buttons.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re planning a special activity with your stepchild that you think your partner\u2019s ex would have a problem with, make sure you talk to them first. Most parents would be delighted that their child\u2019s new step-parent is taking them out, but it\u2019s always best to check. You don\u2019t want your stepchild thinking you\u2019re trying to take one parent\u2019s place, and you don\u2019t want the other parent resenting you for \u2018taking over\u2019. Honesty is the best policy – and it\u2019s always best to be friendly towards other parents, for the good of your stepchild and for your own sake.<\/p>\n Remember that if money\u2019s tight, it\u2019s up to your partner to explain to disappointed faces why they haven\u2019t received an entire toystore\/one-bedroom apartment\/pony. It\u2019s your business, and your business alone, how much money you make – your partner\u2019s children have no right to know anything about your finances, and you shouldn\u2019t have to explain yourself. This is one of those difficult times when it\u2019s best to let your partner do the talking – your job, as a stepparent, is to care for, be responsible for and be kind to your partner\u2019s kids. Just slip away and pour a large glass of wine – and ignore the shouting coming from the front room…<\/p>\n